I kinda feel good today, but a bit tarnished by my brother's comment.

I slept at 8 in the morning and forced myself to go see my results at noon. Pretty scared then, because my papers weren't well done, except macroecons. I expected it to get around B.... but... sigh. But one of the subject, which i never go to his classes, got B worh... and i thought i gonna get C or something. Kinda happy about it. Well, at least i pass. Hehe

Then i went back to sleep... till 4... i guess.
And then i went to spend my time on my own, watch shows and other stuff. Then went to help my parents.

Today dunno why... like having waves and waves of people coming in. Don't know when and where these people come from. Good thing, God has His own timing. We do finish one thing, another group then come. At least we get to rest. Hehe.

After that, we went to Malaysia to have supper... for me, its dinner. Well, it is then that my brother commented that his girlfriend is more useful than me in the durian stall. Wells, i feel i really have no use in the stall. But i feel that she is even more no use than me....
Good thing that I am not going to be the one who is gonna to take over the business. As long its them, i think this statement will only be available when i recognise her as one who is more capable than me. Afterall, these past 18 years I have been nagged by my parents to help them. Whereas, she is too protective by my bro to let me recognise her as one.

if she really after her work and come down to work for my parents, i think she pretty much deserve what my mother is gonna give her. As well as, if she is really gonna work for my parents, i 'bu ke qi', ask her do the jobs she ought to do.

I seriously think that our relationship is turning sour because of some external factors. i'm pretty worried that if one day when we are old, our relationship is cold and 'not a family anymore'... sigh...

God, I pray you help in our decisions in our lives to lead towards You. Amen :D

I was thinking of whether to take up what course at what school.
Together with that, I was thinking of whether to study overseas.

I guess my answer to whether I want to study overseas is NO.
And why so?

I think one obvious thing is about my parents. They have already slogged 6 years of their life to support my sister in her studies in Australia. Plus, they have to cough out their blood to work extra harder during the 6 years she was there. Not only so, they are taking out all their savings for it. Every year at least 50,000 bucks... not a small number.
I guess, an exchange program would be a better option to cover the 'studying overseas' option.

Secondly, even though I think I can leave my family and go study overseas, maybe get a foreign boyfriend, and maybe marry there, I don't think I can leave church easily.
Afterall, I want to serve in church more than I want to study. However, this results to whether God wants me to serve in church or elsewhere. And it is a subject to when and how as well.
God always have his plan behind all my plans. No matter what I want that doesn't parallel with what He wants, He would strike it all off. Just like then, that I want to go Australia.
When I had everything prepared, and just waiting to finish exams, and just go, God suddenly pops up problems with me and the guardian.
No matter what, God also opened options for me - private schools. So now I am following the route of private schools because I cannot go to public universities in Singapore!

And another reason is because, if I can study in Singapore, what for I go study overseas? It's gonna be a waste of money and time. If private school can provide me a good certification and a fast route, what for I need to spend double the time and triple the amount to go? LOL.

What is your opinion of friendship?
To me, friendship is something so precious that I really appreciate, especially those that I have ran together with them.

One of this group would be my npcc friends, those who are friends with me for about 6 years now. These are the people who knows me, yet, not all about me.
For an instance, there's one who actually mistakenly thinks that I am siding another friend in their conflict. But the rest of us all can clearly see. There is a chinese idiom, 'Those who are in the situation can only see things that are happening now. But those who are outside of the situation can see the whole issue of what is going on.'
Just like, you are watching a track and field competition. If you are running a course, you can only see what is in front of you, and have to really concentrate on what is in front of you. On the contrary, if you are a spectator, you can see the whole stadium, and see who is the first to who is the last in the race.
I guess, this is something that we must all understand.
If two are in conflict, please do not also judge those who are outside of the conflict. Even you think that we are siding the person, let not your heart turn cold towards us. We are not siding. If it is one, maybe... yes. But look, it's the whole group. Obviously the situation shows clearly.

No matter what, we all wish that you guys can really patch up. As well as, the rest of us wants you to continue to be friends with us.

I guess its been so long since i blogged.

Some updates:

1) I just finished my diploma, so now i am waiting for my certificate so that i can apply somewhere else.

2) I cannot tell you what route i have decided coz i have not decide on anything... thats bad.

3) I got re-affirmed in March, Easter '08. This is one big decision that i've made and its correct. LOL.

4) I am now, still a big fat pig and have not saved any cash in my bank, because i have been a big spender and have problems with the banks i am with. How irritating.

And i guess.... that's all for now. :D