this is my very first i am so hurt by my family. first time.
i never had this at all. i always look at the very bright side when it comes to my family. but only when it really hurts me, that is when my tears and mood appear.

i clean up so much because of my sis. she came back today. i was so excited to see her. so i clean up whatever that i can, to make it feel home, cosy, that she never had. but it didn turn out well. not my sister side though, but my bro. i found out that male creatures are one that always hurt me. ya... i think it is. yet it is the male creatures who bring me out of my dark times, moody periods.

i clean up. and i told my bro after fetching my sis from the airport, fetch me to church. nvm, late nvm. but then the only words that hurt me was that he say i was acting holy. wow.... ACTING HOLY!!!! even as i type these words i am crying. hello.... CRYING! and there he is, laughing at his joke. hello. you are my bro. u baptised and then u backslided.... alot! and then?! u got a gf. and u dun go! so be it! but i love to go church. i do! and i go sec 4 friday bible study is because P.Mitch teaches really very encouraging words from GOD that could help me go through this period of time, stress. that is why i start to love to go church. i love it. but u say i am ACTING HOLY?!?!?! fine. take it as I AM! but i wanna tell you that I LOVE THE LORD AND I AM WANTING TO BE HOLY, WANTING TO TRUELY BE THE CHILD OF GOD! and adding on, u r my brother. u know me for almost 16 yrs, and YET u dunno me?! u dunno that.... and u say i ACT HOLY!!!

i cry! i cry because i pity you. i cry because u r backsliding. i cry because u have lost the first love. i cry because u have drifted away for GOD. i cry because u said those words. i cried. and cried. because u hurt me, and u hurt GOD too. and because u have laughed at the seriousness of what the words you have said. i cried.