i felt your warmth. but your laughters and jokes pricked hardly on my heart.
i have it!
it doesn mean that i dun say it, the number of times i went away and cry would have show it.
how many times do you have to make fun of me when i regard all of u as my very close and very best friends and it will be a forever even till my death arrives. i really love all of you and then somehow that old me just appear again when i am with all of u. loner. never will be the same.
when u need me i was there. but where are you when i need you.
when the paper ball hit me, i couldn't help it but cry. it triggers it. it wasn your fault for throwing it on me. i know. i just need air. i went up, somewhere, crying. i wouldn't want you all to find me. till when i heard the voices where you want to look for me, i cannot help it but cry more. normally my tap wouldn work. but somehow it runs today. no matter how much i tell myself enough, i cannot help it. i sat at the edge, praying hard that you wouldn find me so that i wouldn hurt more, seeing you. the more i see u show that face, the more i wouldn want to let you see my crying face. i wouldn want all of you to worry me. all i want is your smiles. it would just work.
i am afraid. afraid that when i go, all of these would also begone. i will collapse. you all are a gift to me. but i am scared.
no matter how much jokes you can make fun of me, no matter how much you hurt me, i just wanna see your smile.
i was blind today, yet no one helped. i was heartbroken, yet no one see my tears. i was afraid, yet no one see my fear. i am superficial. maybe i am not as an important friend that you can have at all.
my tears are just flowing on and on. but could you wipe it off???
i asked all of you, if one day i would to dissapear, would you come find me? would you find me?
i am really hurt. no matter how many times you have forsaken me, i wouldn want to. i want to be always there for you. that's what i am for my friends.
i love all of you. yet no one i see loves me. i become a laughing stock for you. it hurts. it pricks. what comes tmr? more injuried? no matter how much tears i show you, it wouldn't just make you do something to wipe off. you make no effort to. so be it. i am just happy to see your smiles. all of you, your smiles. i have Him for me in these times. and i need you too, because you are the gifts. yet these gifts show nothing. that hurts more.
it really hurts. really pricks.