last week was full of ups and downs.

my folio was said until it was like almost worthless. first time he so fierce eh. i was there controlling my tears. dun let one drop roll off. when i tot he was finish, i was packing up and ready to go, he continued to say more. my tears are like all form up le.cannot take it, the tear got so heavy, it just roll down. and then he realise that i was hurt. and then i think he try to talk in a softer tone to calm me down. but.... oh ya.
then again, when i let him check my folio, i think he was vex la. afterall, i was the last. and then he was kinda not feeling well at that time. he also keep saying and saying things about my folio. really, at that time i question myself. i already got a route to overseas le, what for dutte. but then i nudge myself. i say, since i am going to take the exam, might as well do my best. and then these efforts wun go to waste for the past months. that is when my tears got back. after i was scolded then i kinda pek chek. and the brush inside those holes got turpentine. then he scolded me for putting too much varnish. its actually turpentine lorh. coz its like half submerged into the turpentine eh. and i got scolded like tt. then tt time i was like... nvm, dun worry, i can do it. i can get over this. james tried to an wei me. then i say he also stress, can understand de. and its my fault for not doing my folio well. as soon as i leave sch, i took a cab to go church for the sec 4 bible study.

when pastor mitch says about God will uphold you whenever you fall. dunno why, i was tired, i was stress, i was.... everything negative. my tears came. i think al and nat saw it. i juz acted out that i was tired tts all. all the time there i wanted to go toilet and cry this out. but i wanna hear more. after bible study i forced myself to work, work and work. hurry do, hurry wat, hurry finish. then when they order food, me and nat were in the lib doing our work. then i chatted wif him on msn. i ask him, 'what if i were to be mad, what will u do. i think i am on the verge already.' and he didn reply. then i type again. 'i think u all wun do anything bah.' and then i say i going toilet. but actual fact, i went to have a alone time, crying and crying coz i am stress. first time this happen to me. then i hurry wipe my tears. scared they come and see me cry and then they will keep asking why. not that i am afraid of them. but i dun want them to worry about me. then i went back to the lib. but have to go through office. then i hear them practising for teachers day item. then i went to al and i say, 'hey, i not singing with you all for teachers day. i got dnt. deadlines juz 2, 3 days before it. so i wun have time practising.' and he was like, 'ok, dun so stress, you see we get together, not so stress.' at that time, i cry, juz like one drop two drops onli. and i walk away. then i think i heard someone ask al wat happen. and then i heard al say 'you see she so stress, you even see her cry le lorh.' at that time i was like, thanks al, for being so understanding. then i looked up at the sky and i say, the Lord will bring me through difficult times like these. and i smile and continue to do work.

after dinner i hurry rush back to do my work. then later we had a meeting. i was doing my work and was hearing them sing. at that time, their voices soothes my stress. with them and God as the center, the feeling was really good. God really blesses me much. through friends and songs. subsequently, with them, the stress just dissapears.

i wouldn dare to think when that day arrives where i have to go aust and i have to leave them, what would my life be without them. maybe God have a plan for me over there as well. :)